Thursday, January 17, 2013

i will be better

Yesterday was a rough one for me. I can't put my finger on it but people drove me insane and those who tend to annoy me a little bit seemed extremely obnoxious, rude, childish and petty.  It isn't my time of the month, there isn't a full moon out there ... there really is no excuse but everyone seemed on edge yesterday. When I got home from soccer practice and was getting ready for bed, I started to go through the list of things that I was grateful for that day (a ritual I started last year and try to do without fail - it's a mental thing that works for me) and I put a lot of the people who I wanted to smack on to my "gratitude list". Most of them I love and choose to have in my life but some of them I have to have in my life because they are a part of my team or I work with them. I started telling myself: "I will be better tomorrow. I will not get frustrated. I will be positive and happy and helpful". These things are all things that I can work on and every day I learn more and more about how I can't change people but I am learning how I can learn from those "difficult" people and I need to stop apologizing for out I react to things. For example:

  • We are all grown ups. I don't want to have to tolerate childish behavior from anyone who is an adult so instead of letting it aggravate me when it does happen (and it happens way more often than it should), I will shrug it off and remember to be more mature myself.
  • We are all professionals. I deal with some very unprofessional moments from time to time and instead of analyzing them or gossiping about them I am simply going to tell myself that it is not my problem or issue and move on. 
  • We are all individuals. Just because I don't agree with something you say or do, I am not going to put my spin on it. It's not my life and quite frankly, it takes up too much heart and energy to try and convince someone of something that they don't agree with no matter if it is good or bad for them.
In some parts of my life, I don't feel that I get as much respect as I deserve but instead of trying to make other people work into my plans, I am simply going to LET GO. I will talk less and concentrate on my own personal piece of the puzzle - what I can contribute.

This isn't going to be an overnight change but a lot of things happened in my life to lead me to wanting better for myself. I am a work in progress and I will be better. For me and not anyone else. Judge less and do your best my friends ... it is all anyone can ask. xo

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