Tuesday, January 28, 2014

changing trends

One of my favourite blogs is NieNie Dialogues. In one of her most recent posts, I Will Stay True, she speaks a lot about her Mormon faith (something that I don't relate to but respect - everyone has the choice to believe in whatever they want) one line stuck out to me: And just because the world changes with every single trend doesn't mean I will too. She is speaking from a religious aspect but those few words jumped off the page for me for an entirely different reason.

Lately I have been feeling a bit out of sorts. I am a new mom and so my life has been a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs since I found out I was pregnant. After I delivered Charlotte, I felt very unattractive. My whole body was so swollen, I didn't look like myself, and I definitely didn't feel like myself. My inside doesn't seem to match my outside.

Since having a baby, I have learned a lot about myself - and have had to face some truths:
  • Yoga clothes are my best friend. I have a ton of outfits pinned on Pinterest and I would love to pull together the perfect 'look' on a daily basis but it has never happened. Why would it magically start now? Now I will focus on quality and not quantity - and comfortable clothes that fit my hanging body well.
  • I am never going to be the person who spends a lot of time or money on things like hair and makeup. I love a trip to the spa, salon or MAC counter but it's not a huge priority. Since having Charlotte I've streamlined my makeup tray and routine and I'm going to try a new hairdresser to get a new, easy yo manage hair style that suits me - not whatever celebrity is on the cover of the most recent magazine.
  • My priorities have changed. What I want to spend my time on now is different now than even three months ago. Indeed to be honest with myself and edit out the things that no longer fit, and that Rent contributing to my whole being. I've started but know his year will. Ring lots of change. I welcome it with open arms.
  • How I thought it would be after getting pregnant and the reality are two very different things. Without going into too much detail, I now realize I am mourning the life I thought I was going to have. My life is amazing and awesome but the relationships I have with friends and family, our financial situation, my career choice, my body ... are all so much different than I had pictured. Time to just be. Be in the now and love every minute of it.
So this year is about letting go of the old me - the stressed me, the anxious me, the me who put up with so much ugliness and stupidity, the me who didn't care enough and cared too much about the wrong things. I am going to keep my to do list to a minimum because instead of stressing about everything I have to do or want to do, I am just going to do it. I am going to figure out what works well for me instead of changing because 'society' says I should. I am going to become me.

Cheers to getting shit done my friends ... and to becoming whole!

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