why do people use the term "new mom" like they have a bad taste in their mouth?

As a new mom, do you ever notice that other parents who have been a parent longer than you (or have more than one child or had a child a million years ago) tend to regard you as a new mom like it's a bad thing?

I was pretty sure that when I got pregnant, I thought that having my first baby was something to be celebrated, something that was amazing and hard and awesome. Trust me, it is, but every time I question something about my baby, or I ask for help or advice, the response usually comes back with something like, "Oh, you're a new mom." Um - yes - we all know that. You don't see any secret toddler in the closet or a teenager hiding in my trunk do you? This is definitely my first rodeo. Therefore, I have no clue what I am doing and would think that I could rely on other mothers to set me on the right path.

I was telling a fellow mama that I got very conflicting advice on what baby equipment I should use, and her helpful advice? (Seriously people - one doc says yes to Jolly Jumper, exersaucer and Bumbo and another specialist says hell no to all three?!) "Oh, just do what feels right and when you have your second, you won't care." Uh thanks, but who said I was even having any more children? Will I only be validated as a real mom if I have more than one?

I was telling a mom/family member about how frustrating I find it that my daughter won't take a bottle. Her reply, "Don't worry about it, you're a new mom so you probably didn't try the right way. Just wait until she is older." Excuse me? Getting a baby to take a bottle seems like a pretty unique situation - to each unique baby so what works for one might not work for the other. But what do I know? I'm just a new mom.

And my favourite - baby gets fussy in a visitor's arms but said visitor refuses to give baby back to the new mom.
Visitor: Oh baby, you can cry all you want. I've heard a crying baby before and it doesn't bother me like it probably bothers your mom.
Me (aka "New Mom"): Actually, I know she's hungry so I should just feed her now.
Visitor: Oh no, she's just being fussy. Aren't you baby?
Me: Nope. Pretty sure it's been over 3 hours since she last ate so I will just feed her.
Visitor: I will just bounce her up and down because this helped me soothe all my children.
Me: Time to eat!
Visitor: Trust me, this will work ...
Me: (After baby looks at me wide eyed and freaking out ...) JUST GIVE ME MY F*&%ING BABY!
Visitor: Well fine. I was just trying to help. You know you won't jump every time your second baby cries. That's just a new mom thing.

OH. MY. LORD.

I've collected a lot of these scenarios over the past few months (I do get great help and advice too but the bad taste comments tend to stick out in my memory) and wonder what age my baby needs to be before I am no longer a "new mom". What if I only have one child? Will I be a new mom until my daughter turns 18? :) Sure, people tell me I am being too sensitive or taking things the wrong way but could it be that some people are just super insensitive and condescending without realizing it?

I really appreciate the love and support of my "mom tribe" but I have to say my favourite people to go to for help are my friends who have just recently had babies themselves. When they call me a new mom it is said as if we both belong to a secret club. It's new, it's alive, it's exciting. And it doesn't matter if I'm asking about what baby carrier I should purchase, or if a mark on my baby's skin looks wrong, they dive into the issue with gusto and examine all angles without just dismissing me off as a new mom.

Cheers to all mothers out there old and new but please pass an extra glass of champagne to those ladies who are going down the same path at the same time as me. Thank you friends!

Did you feel like people weren't giving you enough credit when you became a new mom or dad?