Wednesday, February 5, 2014

"you need to have more fun with motherhood"

The other day my husband bluntly said to me, "You need to have more fun with motherhood." The comment hit me like a ton of bricks. What the hell is he talking about? I love this new mom gig. I don't really have a choice at this point - it's me, on, 24/7. And I am enjoying it - aren't I?

I started doing what I do - questioning, analyzing and overthinking everything. Basically, I unconsciously jumpstarted my anxiety into overdrive. I love everything about our little Charlotte. The best part of my day (heck, my life so far) is when she wakes up from a nap and sees me and smiles the biggest smile on the planet. I have never felt more love. It is amazing and awesome. I feel like we hit the three month mark, and all of us hit our stride - we got this.

But I kept thinking about my husband's remark and one day, I realized he was 100% right. I was worried about Charlotte's schedule. I was worried about the fact that she wasn't napping long enough one day. I was worried that she was sleeping too long another day. I was worried that she might cry if we left the house. I was worried about breastfeeding in public. I was worried about having people over in case Charlotte got upset. I was worried about what to do with Charlotte if she was up too long and I had to get things done. I was worried - a worried, new mom. And it wasn't fun at all.

We have a routine, not a schedule per say. No matter how many naps Charlotte takes during the day, her bedtime usually ends up to be around the same time. She is going to cry, she's a baby. When she is hungry, I have to feed her - deal with it. Our friends and family just want to visit us and Charlotte, they don't care if she's happy or upset. Charlotte can play on her own for a few minutes while I empty the dishwasher or get dinner ready.

My husband was right - I was worrying too much about everything (and my anxiety was eating me alive) so that was taking away from the fun I wanted to have with Charlotte. Now we play, we snuggle, we watch TV together, we read books, she eats, she tells me stories ... we have fun. Everything is just a stage and it won't be this way forever so - for my own sanity - it was time to stop worrying and start rolling with Charlotte's personal schedule on a day-to-day basis. I can tell that it has made a difference for both of us and our days are filled with more flexibility and fun.

Thanks hubby! xo

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